As far back as I can remember, my unashamed fanboying over Evangelion and its characters has pushed me to no shortage of dumb debates. The most frequent of which is over the disdain many seem to have over Shinji not being in line with hot-blooded shonen-esque protagonists. For me, Shinji’s personality and refusal to embrace a heroic role were not deterrents from Evangelion but encouraged me to keep watching. For the simple reason that Shinji Ikari is a coward and that’s okay. It’s okay that he doesn’t want to get in the robot. It’s okay that he navel gazes about it more than others might. It’s okay because that’s the point and you can clearly see that from the very beginning.
At the outset of Evangelion, both Shinji’s guilt and need for validation are played on so he will accept piloting. He does not stumble backwards into heroism and pick it up naturally. He debates whether or not he should accept the call to adventure and does so reluctantly. As a result, Shinji spends a good chunk of time trying to figure out if he made the right decision.
He is strong-armed into this situation by his father Gendo Ikari, who views Shinji as little more than a tool for his plans and treats him accordingly. Even before an injured Rei is used to guilt Shinji into piloting, we see the NERV staff’s indifference at Shinji’s reluctance to pilot. Even Misato, who we see later trying to support Shinji as best she can, is indifferent when Shinji’s reluctance gets in the way of progress. As this scene leads into an exciting launch and largely one-sided fight, it is easy to overlook that Shinji is just 14.
He’s 14 years old and being guilt-tripped into protecting humanity. He rationalizes that doing so will win his father’s affection, but he’s clearly unhappy to be where he is. He’s terrified of his situation and the trauma it inflicts on him is painfully clear.
It is easy to dismiss Shinji’s aversion to piloting as both selfish and irresponsible, seeing as not piloting will result in the end of humanity. However, if he refuses then there are two other willing pilots ready to step up. Even then, there are more candidates that could be selected to pilot on a whim. Outside of certain schemes playing out above his level, Shinji’s presence could really be considered largely unnecessary.
Again, Shinji is a tool for Gendo. He’s a means to an end. Gendo isn’t concerned with him until he isn’t being useful. After all, we are reminded constantly that Unit 01 itself is more important than the pilot.
So… why is it such a big deal that he doesn’t want to pilot?
The same reason it was a big deal when Renton went off for two episodes to go hang out with the best characters in all of Eureka 7. The point is that Shinji isn’t using piloting to fulfill his sense of self, but realizing that piloting doesn’t offer a complete sense of self. In this regard, Shinji is in conversation with characters like Renton (E7), Amuro (Gundam), and even Simon (TTGL). The key difference is that those three have character arcs centering around finding themselves through piloting or something tangentially tied to it.
Unlike these characters, Shinji wants to be needed and loved by others. Simon wants to be like Kamina, Renton wants to understand and live up to his father’s legacy. Their arcs move towards growth and independence. Shinji’s, however, spirals into self-loathing. Unlike Renton, Shinji doesn’t seek to emulate his father. His greater concerns are being loved and appreciated by him. Since piloting is his way to gain Gendo’s love, it makes sense that his desire to do this wavers with his need for Gendo’s recognition.
Even among protagonists of the time, Shinji stood out as a particularly weak-willed. We’re used to the meek becoming strong or the strong continuing to display strength. Someone meek slowly breaking down was different. These inner conflicts that made up Shinji’s character went a long way in making his arc unique.
If Shinji were stronger willed, Evangelion would be a different story. We can see that in Rebuild 3.0, where Shinji is more proactive and it is extremely different. It can even be seen in the manga, which shares plenty of similarities but still stands apart as its own product entirely.
In the manga, Shinji’s reluctance to pilot remains the same but how he outwardly deals with it is different. He’s far more vocal about his general ambivalence, self-loathing, and suicidal disregard for his own life.
Compare the anime’s timid launching in Unit 01 to the manga’s self-assertive launch. He rails against being called a coward and says he’s going to rise up to the challenge. Instead of stumbling into defeat, he charges headfirst into defeat. The results are still the same but, hey, bravery is bravery.
Thanks for watching and I hope to see you in the next one.
Julian Harmon 
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